Keep It Simple

This was the mother of all birthday parties. About 10 years ago I had a sweet child in my preschool class who was soon to be 4 years old. Her mom had asked if she could provide a special Barney themed party for her daughter. She also wanted to know if a few family members could attend. I usually encourage small parties for the children without much fanfare, but this had been a difficult year for this little girl because her parents were getting divorced. So I said yes.
On the day of this child's Birthday, 10 am sharp, I had the children seated and waiting. I heard a knock on the door and there was a life size Barney calling out my name. "Ms Donna! Ms Donna! I have birthday greetings for Kylie!" Now let me explain. Not only was this the real purple deal but along with Barney was the whole film production. There were cameramen, sound crews, stage lights and oh yes, family members. About 12 of them. The Barney crew entered my room dancing, singing and music blaring. I was shocked and just a little in awe. The only thing I could think of was to close my mouth and try to smile because all of this was being filmed. Boom mic and all.
In the hour or so that followed we had a featured song and dance with group participation of a song called, Mommy and Daddy are divorcing but they still love me, a grand gift presentation of too many gifts along with Kylie blowing out her birthday candles. We actually had 2 takes of the candle scene because the 1st one didn't get all of Barney's head in the shot.
I finally got up enough nerve to signal the mom and cameraman to wrap it up. I actually used the directors hand signal of cut. This made Barney laugh. Still in shock I ushered the entire Barney entourage outside and thanked them. The cameraman shut off his camera and asked for a piece of cake. Barney and his business manager had long gone. Yes, Barney had left the building.
The rest of the day was a blur. I tried to have a normal day but it seemed the children were in hyper Barney warp. All they could do or talk about was Barney and their part in the Barney dance routine. Little did they know that when they left that day each of them had their own DVD of the party along with Barney dolls stuffed into designer gift bags. 16 of them to be precise.
How do you top this? Believe me parents try. Birthday celebrations are no longer simple affairs with friends, family and cake, but elaborate themed Hollywood like productions. No wonder when a child reaches the age of 16 they are disappointed if they aren't handed over a set of keys to their new car. Enough is enough. Parents set expectations and if a child is whiny and demanding they need look no further than themselves.
I have so many parents ask me for advice on children that are demanding and whiny especially when shopping with them. These are the same children that come into class sporting the latest cool celebrity themed clothing or bragging about their new video games. First of all 4 and 5 year olds should not be so merchandise savvy. I find it very sad that these children are bragging about material items.
Parents if you don't want your child to be demanding or whiny you need to stop giving into the more is better way of thinking. Start by keeping celebrations and gift giving simple. Do not buy them every trendy item or toy that hits the market. And please please, do not try to top a Hollywood version of a Barney themed Birthday party. Learn to say no.
Questions or comments? Please feel free to "Ask Ms. Donna"