Save The Praise

Every child deserves praise for a job well done. Praising a child for going above and beyond expectations is appropriate and lets a child know that he or she is appreciated. What I see now are well meaning parents over praising children to the point that the praise seems disingenuous.
Recently I was in my local grocery doing my weekly shopping. There was a father there with his young son also shopping. His son appeared to be around 4 or 5 and was helping his father by placing items into the cart. It seemed that we were shopping for the same items because I followed the duo by 1/2 an isle through the entire store. I overheard this child's father say, "good job Matthew" at least 4 times per isle. Every time Matthew placed an item into the cart he earned a "good job Matthew!" from his father. Matter of fact, Matthew didn't even have to work for his praise. If he just turned the cart onto the next isle he earned another, "good job Matthew." I feel confident in saying that Matthew had long lost the meaning of what good job meant.
Matthew and his Dad were loading their groceries into their car as I left. The barrage of compliments and praise continued. "Matthew! Daddy is sooooooo proud of you! What a good helper you were. Great job! You earned lunch at McDonalds." I do feel certain that Matthew enjoyed his lunch with his Dad if only in the fact that if his Dad ate also, Matthew would at least have a moments peace and quiet.
Too much is too much. Praise should be handed out sparingly so that when used, a child knows just how special it is. If a child receives too much praise, after awhile he will simply stop trying. Studies have shown that high achievers usually come from home environments where praise was limited and had to be earned.
So remember praise when appropriate but do not overdue. And Matthew if you are out there. You really were a good helper to your Father and I just bet hearing one " good job!" from your Dad would have meant so much more than the 20 or so that followed.
Questions or comments? Please feel free to "Ask Ms. Donna"